a stirring.

There is so much going on around me~ some I am very aware of and some I am not. The Lord has been speaking to me about my purposeful existence and what that means for me. My spirit has been wrestling with this concept all week, fighting for self, when that is the opposite of my purpose.I can no longer do it on my own. Jim Cymbala,says in his book, Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire, "the devil in not terribly frightened of our human efforts and credentials. But he knows his kingdom will be damaged when we begin to lift our hearts to God." He likes to whisper to me, "don't call, don't ask, don't depend on God to do great things- you'll get along just fine if you just rely on your own cleverness and energy. Well guess what...I'm all out. I don't want to do things on my own. I want my Fathers leading, I want to experience God's closeness, I want to focus vertically rather than horizontally, reaching to Him rather than reaching out on my own. I have been brought to my knees and forced to look into the mirror at my futile attempts to do the work of the Holy Spirit. My heart has been ignited with a fresh fire to experience God's mercy, power, and love as though for the first time!