Monday, September 22, 2008

Chaos

I am probably way behind in the times but I have just recently heard a song on K-love (i don't even know who sings it. if you know the name or artist please tell me) that talks about having the feeling of chaos in their heart but knowing that God is doing something bigger inside...something to that effect, anyway, I cannot listen to that song without being moved. That song explains perfectly what I have been feeling the last 2 weeks. I have not even been able to put it into words but tht song does it. Inside, my heart feels like chaos. Tons of different emotions, and situations, and people tugging on my heart...but God is doing something bigger in me...wow, I am so thankful for that. Today I am also thankful that Gods love is not dependent upon my circumstance. My pastor said this several weeks ago and I cannot shake that thought. Honestly, it's hard for me to even wrap my mind around. Wherever I am in life, HIS love is still there. No matter what. I am really not trying to feel sorry for myself here but just thinking outloud. It's just that sometimes life seems so lonely. I try to reach out to people/my friends/even family and sometimes it just feels like a one way deal. I constantly feel like I am draining myself for others that I care about and get no response. I guess that is what Jesus may feel like... Does anyone else ever feel this way? Like I said before though, I am thankful that no matter what I have the love of my heavenly Father and He is as close as the mention of His name. Sorry for the confusion of this entry, but I needed to get some things out... Love you all!

4 comments:

Jenn said...

it is sanctus real "something heavenly", i posted about the same thing a few days ago! that song hit me at the perfect time. it really helped me deal with some of the things that i was going through. isn't God's timing perfect? i'm still feeling the "chaos" but it is so great to know who is ultimately in control and how faithful He is at making the chaos makes sense at the right time! glad to see someone else going through the same thing :)
love, jenn

Lisa said...

I love that song. You are not alone in what you are describing, I've been going through similar things too.
Love, Lisa

MaryEllen said...

I am ALWAYS here if you need to talk. Don't ever hesitate to call me!!
Love you.

Sam, Sarah, Claudia, Camile, Maya, and Gabriel said...

Carly,

Hang in there...and don't just say that God's timing is perfect--BELIEVE IT!!! I have never heard the song you're talking about...I should look it up. Remember, you have friends out here who LOVE you and THINK ABOUT YOU all the time!!!

We miss you and can't wait to see you in a few weeks!